Welcome to one of my own musings. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but there really hasn’t been a need or want for me to express myself. It’s not uncommon for me to keep my deeper thoughts to myself these days, purely because I don’t really feel that they are worth putting out there. However, this feels a little different; this is a bit lengthy for just a Facebook post, and its perhaps a little too wordy as well. Still this is after all one of the reasons the site was created, for self-expression.
It’s kind of interesting as one of my Facebook memories said: “It occurred to me yesterday that I have been accumulating knowledge. If I included my college years as well it’s a long time. What astounded me more was the knowledge base is wide and varied. It’s also reaching its conclusion during next year…” It is interesting because it’s true, I am slow finishing up my studies, some are still not quite there but I did suspend study on Acupressure/Acupuncture Techniques, Meridian Psychotherapy, Tai Chi and Chi Kung until I completed my Assessor training, however that course has not turned out to be as simple as I was lead to believe.
What I think I have learnt is that I have hidden behind knowledge because at some point I was told that I wouldn’t amount to much. In fact I can pretty much pin-point when that occurred, I would have been at college, and it would have been during my HNC Hairdressing. It wouldn’t have been anything of significance but the lecturer basically didn’t have the patience or the needed understanding to realise that I wasn’t exactly the most confident of learners. It was only reinforced while I was learning on HNC Computing and in the assessment for needs meeting the assessor practically told me that I wasn’t getting any support as I didn’t need it, deserve it or require it. She pretty much pointed the finger and said your not even Dyslexic! All the tests and reports backed up the initial findings and subsequent reports have found that I am, but this one assessor decided to make it difficult… True there were budget cuts coming in and what better way to save money, however you didn’t read that from me!
The point is I have moved on from being that person, but I still have been hiding. I have always looked at the world through a veil and thought, well there is no point in me going out there as someone else already does what I want to do. There is already someone else established, so I used learning as my way of hiding; what better way to avoid disappointment and hide not having confidence than gaining another certificate, and then another one after that. This year, and indeed within the last month, something changed in me. I stopped comparing myself to someone else for a start! If I am honest it was a comment on Facebook to a reply that I left that made me recognise that I had gone through a change.
Since 2015 I have been studying for my Massage Diploma, during that time I became very interested in Traditional Chinese Medicine, but I didn’t nor couldn’t actually follow through my study and investigation until 2017. The interesting thing with me is I find a way to make things work for me. Now since I couldn’t go half way around the world, nor could I devote time to go between here and Manchester for several years, I found a way to learn through Distance Learning. Now let me stop you right there! You are not me, it might not work for you but it does for me and quite frankly it was thanks to the Massage background I already had that I was able to make it work for me.
In fact thanks to that background I received a Distinction Pass and invited back to the training place to do some work if I wanted. TCM changed the way I looked at massage, not only that but I discovered how much I have a passion for Acupressure as well. This is in part thanks to Dearmouring work that I do for myself; now that has no direct connection to Acupressure or working with the meridian points, but the one thing that training did teach me was how to listen and work with the body, now I may not ever work with Deamouring as a process; I may never get to a point where I am training others in it as well, but what it did do is open me up to working with the meridian energy points. It may never have been intended but that is what has happened.
Today and in fact since I did the teaching for Angelic Reiki Practitioners at the end of September, I have been feeling that it is time to come out from behind my certificates. True I have still qualifications to complete, and plug the gaps to round off my knowledge so I can become versed in all of the Traditional Chinese Medicine ways, and also complete the further training in Tai Chi and Chi Kung plus EFT (Meridian Psychotherapy) but at least for the moment I want to put my skills to use. So I have taken that big leap and put it out there, for the last week in October; I have said exactly what I can do and the times I will be able to do it, so now I wait.
However, in the meantime I will do my assignments, case studies, claw my money back from botched courses and look for another way to become an assessor. I will look to start up my Tai Chi and Chi Kung classes, plus continue to run my Angelic Reiki and Usui Reiki workshops. I will overhaul the sites and make them look properly professional and then look to marketing with Business Cards, Posters and Flyers. As for my online presence… Well that will remain, as it seems this is the new way to reach people.