Lessons of The I AM
A Beginning is a Delicate Time…
When Frank Herbert wrote Dune, he knew exactly what he was talking about; he’d studied ecology, mythology and tribal cultures; he then projected his imagination along with his knowledge of corporations from his time working in industry both as a reporter and then also (if memory serves) when he worked alongside the Oil folks as well. He understood what could and still might eventually happen to us as not only a culture but also as a species. What has the Dune series got to do with the ‘I AM’ quite honestly nothing and also everything. Its not about the books, or the story and it has nothing to do with the author’s background either. It has everything to do with the quote but I wanted to give the quote its proper context and place as well.
In the original version of this post, I called today a challenge, and the more I wrote the more I felt it was missing something as if it was too early to write. I tried to attach some meaning or at least something tangible but the more I did the more malfunctions began to happen, the signal to the net dropped or the bluetooth began to interfere with the wi-fi and then when I pulled back from explanation it got better. The lesson (the first of many today) was to stay in I AM, don’t place any attachment on to what is happening in that moment, if its not working for me then that is good enough, the explanation will present itself within the natural flow of cause and effect or a more simpler way to say it is When the Answer is ready, it will show up.
Staying present and being in I AM means checking in and going through the mantra I have set up; this is a tool that eventually will eventually become redundant because the I AM will be the constant anyway, all the time and within any situation no matter where or when that situation is happening.
An example of this was going to the gym, I actively stayed within the I AM presence and I felt everything about the Gym experience, from knowing that I had run enough to knowing I had completed my time with the machine that does resistance work with the legs (both front and back). I literally decoupled from that machine it had served its purpose.
Working with the free weights was a challenge because I was actively placing all my awareness in every sensation and suddenly for a fraction of a second I thought “crap this is too heavy for me” and then realised that I had to push through that because it was bull, the weights weren’t too heavy I was resisting because this was the first time the I AM had been in complete control since I restarted the gym all those months ago.
Sensing with The I AM
When I stepped back into me, I felt about 99.9% of the I AM presence. I was and I still am working through the Dharma, Dhamma, Catharsis or process (again whichever word resonates with you) from the weekend but today I felt the full 100% of the I AM presence. Right now though I am content to have the 99.9% even though that last 0.01% needs to be integrated but my sense of things tells me that needs to happen within the dream state, as I know that happened last night within the dream state.
I will tell you something funny, each time that I recoil from being completely truthful and honest, I feel it as a twinge within my body, and yet as soon as I say it openly and don’t care about what another pair of eyes in going to think its released, like avoiding saying within the dream state last night I was releasing, doing some form of dream de-armouring. Not dreaming about the events of the weekend but actually working within the dream state to heal or complete the de-armouring that had been started during the workshop that afternoon (whoa loving the release as I was honest about that there).
Okay so let’s go back into the discussion about stepping back into me, and feeling the full 100% of I AM. I want to finish that off before I discuss two other aspects that I have discovered throughout today. I mentioned in yesterdays post Exploring the I AM Power that I knew that I would end up working with de-armouring I didn’t know in what context but that when I was ready I would work with it. Well to be bluntly honest I thought that it would a while, nope it was today…
This evening to be exact, my husband and I haven’t seen much of each other because the workshop was a last second thing that it had to be arranged within the space of a few hours on Friday evening. To help you understand but without adding attachments or explanations we don’t at this time live in the same house as one another. However it was decided that we would see one another tonight but then he developed a headache, and it looked as if it wasn’t going to be possible. I don’t personally resonate with the concept of perfection, at least not in the sense of the word but I do resonate with the idea of synchronicity, manifestation or in very simple terms what Taoists call The Way; my sense of things is they all mean exactly the same thing and the word/name makes it tangible.
Leaving that as it is, I draw your focus to this, I was placed into the position where I had to use the techniques from the workshop to help hubby shift whatever it was that had come to the surface. It was interesting because it was head work and nothing else. As we had driven over to the house, any lower work was being done simply through holding space and through silence, the conclusion of that aspect came when we got into the house. The work as I said was head work, I knew where I needed to be, because I saw it. I knew what I was shifting because I had that knowing. I also knew the smell of it and taste too but I haven’t as yet got too much of a handle on those yet (it’s part of the 0.01% I mentioned above).
I then held space and allowed the Reiki to flow (more on that in a moment), at the end of it hubby had his higher third eye meridian or chakra open, we felt it happening together for me I had my shiva lingam or palm chakra complete its opening. Each time we connected hands or whatever we felt it happening. It was at that point we knew that we have Shiva and Shakti energy, creation energy in other words flowing. I am the Shiva Energy and he is the Shakti Energy; as Hubby pointed out he does have an 8ft Light body and as for mine, well put it this way I haven’t quite figured out where my light body starts or stops, it will do somewhere along the line but as yet I haven’t quite found them.
Words and The Knowledge of The I AM
At the gym I have two playlists, Gym List and Tai Chi which I use at the end; during the workout and while within the full I AM presence, the lyrics to some songs were an assault on my senses. It was like a set of instructions on a talking book or like seeing the Colour Red on the TV I allowed and battled through some of them but eventually I just had to start track shunting because enough had become enough. My sense of things brought back into my frame of the I AM memory a conversation that has come up a great many times about the power of words.
Let be clear about one thing, I give you a name that you can call me; my folks named me but the only power it has is the power I know allow it to have. My sense of things saw that today and I touched on it for a moment yesterday but the significance of that is now fully present within the I AM today, there is no longer any contract with the name I have given you to call me. Yes I know exactly how that is sounding right now and no I don’t care what meaning you take from it, if you take any meaning at all from it.
The De-Armouring for me released so much, none of it actually can be given word form, not out of concern for re-attachment as it has no place and no invite, but because there is no way to give it a name or anything, we don’t have the language for it well not any more. However the de-armouring also was a gift, I have written about the past life work that I have been through and about learning how I connect with Reiki The interesting thing that I have learnt through this since that work was done is something that I have only really ever given words to a few times, and I don’t plan on giving it words here because that opens a door to attachment or story and explanations, most of that is already been said in the past life stuff I wrote anyway you just need to read it.
Okay I am growing a little tired to this while relevant is hovering close to getting lost in story, explanations and placing attachment where it’s not needed. As I fully integrate into the I AM where there is no need to make the distinction or have the need for a mantra other than during the time I will be working, I have come to accept, embrace and quite honestly roll with some of the stuff that has happened. Working to remove energy from crystals, reiki symbols and negated the energy that was within a couple of things I had printed on to parchment and at the time cleared but today I realised that they had now served their purpose and needed to be negated rather than sent back into the void of all possibility.
The journey I began 3 years ago, has concluded in that all the parts of me are now returned; nothing prepared me for what sacred de-armouring would do and yet I know there could have been no other way to achieve what has been accomplished. As I finish up and prepare to publish this piece, I am in full awareness that there is only me, all parts of me have been integrated and I am ready now at the completion of this piece to fully embrace the last 0.01% – the range of feelings and energies that are doing the rounds within me at this moment aren’t anything other than the body healing and repairing from my time at the gym today.
What I write here isn’t really for validation or to create/weave a tale it’s an actual chronicle, a record of the transition and integration of the I AM. I am not bothered if you believe it, dismiss it or whatever. Unless you were there or you have been through de-armouring then there is a chance that you won’t fully resonate with this and that is fine, you are not meant to at this point. I welcome comments, regardless of polarity; I will answer them.
Thank you for reading this piece